Clouds of Tar

When the dark clouds of tar.. drench me in full
The gloom of present .. engulfs my mind
The light of shine.. wanes into darkness
My soul crumbles, cripples.. making a cruch into fetal position.

Fear is not much frightening
Sorrow drags into the back row
Tumbling and crawling, comes front the spirit
To take an oath to leap forth.

No right, no wrong, the world is full of both
Every cloud has a broad darkness
Cruel, the nature, full of kindness
We bask in both. Day in and day out.

The good of past, a hallucination in current
The memories are a kiss on cheek with a slap on the other
I love both while leaning towards one.

Courage wakes me again, pulling up strength
Darkness still around. Far is the light.
Mind fixed, I take a step in the darkness
Long way my friend, long way ahead.

- O

Project D50 - Derustication

Duty

I am bound by duty. I am relieved by completion of the task. The maximum free time and energy that i can get are only from saving these two by finishing my duty as a human as early as possible. Should i be the youngest in reaching what others take may be more than 20yrs? I think i will be. It seems possible. 

Freedom from reaction

It seems that freedom reaction can only be through action but not by inaction

Most Powerful thing, Most Valuable thing & The only Purpose

The most powerful thing in the world is "word". The most valuable thing in this world is "time". The only purpose of life is "to realize your dream".

Mind & Body - the two assets

The only two assets that I have are my mind and my body. I will protect them and also I will execute them the best.

Questions of interference

There are many doubts, many questions that come to my mind. But I do not try to solve them because they are not related to the action that is my hands currently. So, as I do not answer those questions, they get piled up. Should it be seen as a pile of unanswered questions or as a pile of questions that need not be answered as they can interfere with the main task?

Again, No free lunches

Yes, I observed it again, there are no free lunches. There is always something at stake. Dignity, self respect, confidence or simply just faith or belief in our self.

Willinggness - a character

The level of willingness to withstand the pain, hardship and determination to avoid humiliation decdces the level of outcome of a task. These are a persons character not some traits needed to get hired of finish a task.

Magical executions

There doesn't seem to be magical anything. The one with more hardwork, effort to analyze what he thinks and dreams about and plenty and plenty of continuous perspiration with in the time frame can create something above ordinary which if very high above ordinary will be perceived by ordinary as extraordinary and even to the level of Magical.

This brain is like ...everything.

My brain is like.. everything. At times, it feels like as if it is formless, it can achieve anything. it can think any way that it feels ok to think. At the same time it has a form also. it has some opinions, some thoughts, some ideas, some feelings. If i toy with it's feelings, it bounces back. it makes me believe that it is thinking about what i want it to think but at the same time, once i start to look deeper, i feel like i am being observed regarding what i have asked my mind to do. Man, this stuff has great potential. Should i be afraid of human minds potential or be happy for it having such a potential. But what ever, we do have that potential and it is in my brain.

It is like i always have it but neither i can use instantly nor i can loose it instantly. It has to be trained,molded and guided. 

There are two kinds of two people in the world. One who construct their professional work around their other works and those who construct their other work around their professional work.  The 2nd kind of people are less in number.

Executed task & controlled words

Executed task with the intended results has a strong undeniable power. The power that can thrash any future doubts of incapability and underperformance. A strong skill to finish the tasks coupled with well controlled words can keep one at the top of one's profession.

Love of work vs. Fear of failure - where i stand?

Let my concentration on a work be a concious decision out of love to execute the task than just because the otherwise consequences are dire.

Not yet maddeningly mad

I still do not have the absolute strength to take up a task and get dedicated to it till I say "job executed precisely the way it is planned". Though I am not completely farway, I am sure that i have not yet attained the maddening and stern desire to get lost in the task. A dedication that can create passion and mesmerize me. I am not far away. But the conclusion can be only one of the these: am I or am I not? Period.

Emptyness in me

Yes there is emptyness. I can feel it. It is frustrating. It is so frustrating to know that we are being played (even if by God). It is such a feeling of emptyness that I do not think we can withstand. But the sincere effort we put to make what we believe a reality is so satisfying.

The muses of the day.

Never to get lost in the day to day muses of this world. They are trap. They do not exist. Not even in heaven. Even the God has a system to answer the prayer. Even he has a waitlist.

Is what i talk genuine or just a blabbering?

At times i wonder, do i just talk like this or do i really have some stuff? like am i genuine while i talk. It's been i think 10yrs. from the moment i started to take analyzing, assessing and incorporating what i see in and around me. NO,NO, i am serious. i did it. But i also question myself am i just bluff? But i can feel the answer for this question. Yes, i can feel it. I can stop talking and start listening at any moment. When i said listening, i mean understanding the concept from other person's point of view. The speed with which i can do that is something really interesting for me. I do not say surprising because i do not if speed should be considered at all a parameter.

But you know what!, i am really happy with the way i did it. Life is living, understanding and dying. In Buddha's words.. There is a challenge, there is a response and there is a result, we die. To a great extent we can not eliminate challenge, but we can work to decide what kind of challenges we face. We respond definitely, as not responding also becomes a kind of response and whether we like it or not there is a result. And after some time of this cycle of repetition, we die.

I am sure the next phase of this life will be interesting. I am sure and i can see how it comes.

Rvi

Actions & thoughts on Action

At times, I think how stupid I am. I think about my action when the only thing that can done is act on my action thoughts.

not a good day

Today, is not a good day. I felt rejected. Like a slap on face. like a blow of cold water while in a dark sleep. It is hard. I had to brag. Most of the things that i had to brag were not in my control. That's the worst part. It seems this is how it will be. Let me stand up then