Started preparing for USMLE Step 1. The whole anatomy of preparing for exam is different. Studied this morning for 2 hrs. and discussed the already read topics with other people. made me feel happy. Brain needs continuous training. It tries to take more liberty than it should. It is the same brain that feels happy and proud for studying well and working hard and it is the same brain that wants to enjoy in such a way that will come in and interfere with its own way of success. It is not different from me. It is me. But it seems that it has to be trained as we train the body. It tries to act differently from what we want. But if we tell it strictly on how to act, it will follow obediently. It is interesting at the same time frightening. It is interesting because if we can understand it, we can control it the way we want. It is frightening because we do not know what we control it for and what consequences we may need to face for trying to control it. What if the brain opposes our attempt to understand it because if we can understand it, we can control it. The situation will be a complete chaos. we will be fighting with ourselves.

Can we understand how brain acts on us by pampering it and waiting for it to get accustom to us rather than forcing it to open it self up. It also seems that we have two parts (functional) in our brain. one wants to work hard, be sincere and achieve success. The other wants to enjoy the beauty of nature, feel the pleasure and experience the ecstasy. I do not know about others, but i get a feeling that the enjoying part of my brain does want some kind of non-productive, short lived ecstasy. I can sense that it wants true feeling. Feeling beyond the day to day life. Feeling that last for long and that give you a holistic satisfaction.