Shifting the target for better results

Rather than giving my self a target of finishing the chapter or a concept in particular time with particular result, it seems the more productive would be give my self a target of being able to focus continuously in a relaxed manner. The target is to be able to read and understand the next paragraph, the next page and the next concept. It should include no wasting of time but also no wandering of thoughts. The total time to finish the chapter is flexible, the pace could also be flexible but the approach of doing things smoothly one after the other with no wandering of thought is not flexible. I should be able to understand the concept and reciprocate what I am studying even though I am not able to recollect each and every line precisely. I should be able to continue the momentum with genuine effort. 

Late night sleeps

If I sleep late in the night, I am not able to do things actively the whole next day. This happens even if I finish a 6-8hrs of continuous sleep almost till the afternoon. I feel drowsy.

I can not follow a target

It seems I can not fix myself to a target. Whatever the target I chose to accomplish I leave it in the middle or I become slow and miss the target. Either I am wrong in understanding the practicality of achieving the target or I am just not capable of sticking to the schedule when it becomes too hectic. Missing the targets happening again and again. So, it seems that I will miss my goal also. Missing the goal is certainly going to devastating. It could not be redone as the time would also be over. This is a serious threat to my mission.

Presumedly well studied concepts and the non revision.

The concept that I have read well makes me to be less enthusiastic to revise that subject. This lessened enthusiasm is going to be there for a long time. I read ENT well. But I did not revise it in the last 6 months. When I said read well, I did neither study the topic related to CSOM nor did the question bank. It's like half of the total prep related to ENT is not done at least once.

The adrenaline mood

Mood is not something that seems to be something that i can control (at least now). Because there are times where I can study very effectively. The pages just flow. It's like hurricane. I can understand everything and feel like i can recollect easily everything. It just happens. It happens at times. I can not choose for it to happen but I have observed that it happens more frequently before exams and some absolute deadlines. When it happens, all the other works step back including the long due sleep. The adrenaline rushes. While it's happening, most of the times, I don't turn the pages back to recollect and revise but I just follow it because it just flows.

Also, the fast paced reading happens successfully might be because the objective is short term memory.

After 3-4hrs of this rapid pace reading, everything becomes so tiresome. 

But the topics learned from adrenaline mood are difficult to recollect unless they are already read.

Failure and my big role in it

My failure , it seems,  at most of the times is not directly because of negligence or incapability but because of my own action of under performance resulting in gross dissatisfaction and subsequent anger and hurt that I create against myself.

After sometime, to avoid the un joyful feeling of not being able to reach my target and finish the task, I indulge in activities like watching movies continuously or have a party or watch YouTube for long hours.  So that I can forget the task it self and tell myself that it could not been achieved anyways. Not I reassign my self a new task and do the same. It has become more like a habit.

The latest hrs are more productive

The last hrs of my study schedule are more productive than the initial hours. May be it is because I know in the beginning that I have lot of time.

The root of understanding all concept

There will be this one basic question that's not clearly answered or not clearly given on which you want to memorize or understand the whole concept. You research and able to concretely understand all the other information related to the concept except that one.  Ex. PCI in STEMI has to be done in a PCI available hospital (if the patient was brought there directly) with in 90 min. But it is no where explained neither by the professor nor by the AHA what to do incase we administer thrombolytics with in 30 min. Should we go with PCI later?

Lot of energy and time consuming yet yielding

Some concepts are so confusing though they are just half page like STEMI and NSTEMI Rx. coupled with the thrombolytics, fibrinolytics and anti coagulant treatment options. Also, the protocol of Rx changes every year. We don't know whether the lecturer has updated.  In these cases, the study takes long time and must by remembered all together at once or else everything goes back to the beginning. 

But maintaining to continue to study gradually & slowly over 4 hrs, the tough subject yielded (not completely). But It has to be recollectd again and again to get the concept consolidated. 

Results should be experienced

The memorizing and reciprocation and re revision must be experienced and be redone one after the other.

The disinterest is overcome (and could be done again and again)

In spite, I continued to study. I was reading the chapter one after other. I had no interest in the chapter even though I wanted to learn, there was some kind of half hearted effort. So, I continued to study, after one hr or so I somehow asked my self "what chapter I am reading? "I could not answer my self. That's the beginning of waning disinterest in the topic. After few seconds say, 5 or 10, I was able to tell the name. Then slowly came the main headings in that topic. Then the subheading after turning few of the pages. Then I was actively asking my self how one concept is similar and different from the other. I tried to analyze and overtime, have put the effort to memorize. So, in one sentence "the dis interest could be overcome"