Burning desire, not just passion.

Then I realized, it is not sufficient to work. One needs to have a burning desire to achieve and possess a particular skill out and out by himself. Yes. The desire must burn him from with in. I am not talking here about passion or enthusiasm but a burning desire so strong that it miffs everything else including the hunger.

Prisoner of restrictions

I am still a prisoner of my own restrictions.

One last one

There is one life. One dream. One objective. One goal. One last breath. One last sight. One final achievement. Only one grandiosity. Only One last goodbye.
Only one thing.  Only one. ..... Me.

Love

"Love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective. It does not make one person special. It is not exclusive. Exclusivity is not the love of God but the "love" of ego. However, the intensity with which true love is felt can vary. There may be one person who reflects your love back to you more clearly and more intensely than others, and if that person feels the same toward you, it can be said that you are in a love relationship with him or her."  ----- The Power of Now

Yesterday, Tomorrow & Now

Yesterday is an illusion. It does not exist anywhere except in memory.  Tomorrow is the projection of anticipation that depends to a great extent on memory. Both yesterday and tomorrow, to be real, can exist only in 'now' - the very precise current moment.

The Outer and Inner Purpose

"Your outer journey may contain a million steps; your inner journey only has one: the step you are taking right now. As you become more deeply aware of this one step, you realize that it already contains within itself all the other steps as well as the destination. This one step then becomes transformed into an expression of perfection, an act of great beauty and quality. It will have taken you into Being, and the light of Being will shine through it. This is both the purpose and the fulfillment of your inner journey, the journey into yourself. Does it matter whether we achieve our outer purpose, whether we succeed or fail in the world? It will matter to you as long as you haven't realized your inner purpose. After that, the outer purpose is just a game that you may continue to play simply because you enjoy it. It is also possible to fail completely in your outer purpose and at the same time totally succeed in your inner purpose. Or the other way around, which is actually more common: outer riches and inner poverty, or to "gain the world and lose your soul," as Jesus puts it. Ultimately, of course, every outer purpose is doomed to "fail" sooner or later, simply because it is subject to the law of impermanence of all things. The sooner you realize that your outer purpose cannot give you lasting fulfillment, the better. When you have seen the limitations of your outer purpose, you give up your unrealistic expectation that it should make you happy, and you make it subservient to your inner purpose. " ---- The Power of Now

I am going to be obsolete in next 6-8 months

I think if I can not secure a position in a good branch of medical post graduation in the next 6-8 months, my whole existence will become obsolete. It will happen for sure if I don't change the outcome in time.

The only reason I did not understand something

The only reason I could understand and retain something was the fact that I did not spend enough amount of quality time for that topic.

Illusion of early syllabus completion.

When we finish the chapters fast, we get the feeling that we can finish the syllabus early and vice versa.  But the truth is only the concept that is already known either partially or completely can be finished fast.

Creation vs. Improvement

Not everything could be created but everything could be improved.

Targets while studying

We must never set a target like "I will finish 160 question today" it is a wrong target.  Rather the target should be something like " I should be able to recollect what I am studying today and in the process I should not be lax most of the times and there should not be any passive reading".

Shifting the target for better results

Rather than giving my self a target of finishing the chapter or a concept in particular time with particular result, it seems the more productive would be give my self a target of being able to focus continuously in a relaxed manner. The target is to be able to read and understand the next paragraph, the next page and the next concept. It should include no wasting of time but also no wandering of thoughts. The total time to finish the chapter is flexible, the pace could also be flexible but the approach of doing things smoothly one after the other with no wandering of thought is not flexible. I should be able to understand the concept and reciprocate what I am studying even though I am not able to recollect each and every line precisely. I should be able to continue the momentum with genuine effort. 

Late night sleeps

If I sleep late in the night, I am not able to do things actively the whole next day. This happens even if I finish a 6-8hrs of continuous sleep almost till the afternoon. I feel drowsy.

I can not follow a target

It seems I can not fix myself to a target. Whatever the target I chose to accomplish I leave it in the middle or I become slow and miss the target. Either I am wrong in understanding the practicality of achieving the target or I am just not capable of sticking to the schedule when it becomes too hectic. Missing the targets happening again and again. So, it seems that I will miss my goal also. Missing the goal is certainly going to devastating. It could not be redone as the time would also be over. This is a serious threat to my mission.

Presumedly well studied concepts and the non revision.

The concept that I have read well makes me to be less enthusiastic to revise that subject. This lessened enthusiasm is going to be there for a long time. I read ENT well. But I did not revise it in the last 6 months. When I said read well, I did neither study the topic related to CSOM nor did the question bank. It's like half of the total prep related to ENT is not done at least once.

The adrenaline mood

Mood is not something that seems to be something that i can control (at least now). Because there are times where I can study very effectively. The pages just flow. It's like hurricane. I can understand everything and feel like i can recollect easily everything. It just happens. It happens at times. I can not choose for it to happen but I have observed that it happens more frequently before exams and some absolute deadlines. When it happens, all the other works step back including the long due sleep. The adrenaline rushes. While it's happening, most of the times, I don't turn the pages back to recollect and revise but I just follow it because it just flows.

Also, the fast paced reading happens successfully might be because the objective is short term memory.

After 3-4hrs of this rapid pace reading, everything becomes so tiresome. 

But the topics learned from adrenaline mood are difficult to recollect unless they are already read.

Failure and my big role in it

My failure , it seems,  at most of the times is not directly because of negligence or incapability but because of my own action of under performance resulting in gross dissatisfaction and subsequent anger and hurt that I create against myself.

After sometime, to avoid the un joyful feeling of not being able to reach my target and finish the task, I indulge in activities like watching movies continuously or have a party or watch YouTube for long hours.  So that I can forget the task it self and tell myself that it could not been achieved anyways. Not I reassign my self a new task and do the same. It has become more like a habit.

The latest hrs are more productive

The last hrs of my study schedule are more productive than the initial hours. May be it is because I know in the beginning that I have lot of time.

The root of understanding all concept

There will be this one basic question that's not clearly answered or not clearly given on which you want to memorize or understand the whole concept. You research and able to concretely understand all the other information related to the concept except that one.  Ex. PCI in STEMI has to be done in a PCI available hospital (if the patient was brought there directly) with in 90 min. But it is no where explained neither by the professor nor by the AHA what to do incase we administer thrombolytics with in 30 min. Should we go with PCI later?

Lot of energy and time consuming yet yielding

Some concepts are so confusing though they are just half page like STEMI and NSTEMI Rx. coupled with the thrombolytics, fibrinolytics and anti coagulant treatment options. Also, the protocol of Rx changes every year. We don't know whether the lecturer has updated.  In these cases, the study takes long time and must by remembered all together at once or else everything goes back to the beginning. 

But maintaining to continue to study gradually & slowly over 4 hrs, the tough subject yielded (not completely). But It has to be recollectd again and again to get the concept consolidated. 

Results should be experienced

The memorizing and reciprocation and re revision must be experienced and be redone one after the other.

The disinterest is overcome (and could be done again and again)

In spite, I continued to study. I was reading the chapter one after other. I had no interest in the chapter even though I wanted to learn, there was some kind of half hearted effort. So, I continued to study, after one hr or so I somehow asked my self "what chapter I am reading? "I could not answer my self. That's the beginning of waning disinterest in the topic. After few seconds say, 5 or 10, I was able to tell the name. Then slowly came the main headings in that topic. Then the subheading after turning few of the pages. Then I was actively asking my self how one concept is similar and different from the other. I tried to analyze and overtime, have put the effort to memorize. So, in one sentence "the dis interest could be overcome"

It isn't a sufficiently strong purpose to make you form the habit of doing the things you don't like to do for the very simple reasons that it is easier to adjust ourselves to the hardships of a poor living than it is to adjust ourselves to the hardships of making a better one. If you doubt me, just think of all the things you are willing to go without in order to avoid doing the things you don't like to do.

He insulted me.

He insulted me. Yes. I am not mistaken. He did insult me. He did it. He said " your choices are wrong". He said it around 3-4 times at different times. I remember. He said "3-4 books chadivi book raseddamanukunte aipodu. Anta dammunte choopinchu" "prativokkadu topu ani anukuntadu" " neelo kooda facebook zuckenberg and Microsoft billgates anta skill unte choopinchu" neeku anta vundi anukuntunnava? Anta ledu.. vunte ikkade choopinchu. Cheta kake vellipotunnav kada.

Hard work is unavoidable both for manual labour and thoughtful research but only the above parallel work is awarded. 

Both less skilled and supra par works are hard works. Both only the later gets praise, award and reward.

If we have the conviction that we can relax, we will convince ourselves to relax more than required. The brain plays the trick. It's similar to the concept of 'threshold of pain' which is always subjective, which can constantly be improved and which most of the times, if left unchecked, gives sub-par results in long run.

Should we ignore everyone?

In our pursuit, should we ignore everyone? Should we denounce everyone? The answer is both 'yes' and 'no'. It depends on both the time and the need of the hour.

It is 'no' for most of the times. However a 'no' does not mean that we have to be with all the people for a long durations of time (the option 'all the time' is not even considered). We just have to be there only til the time needed. Nothing more nothing less.  But we should keep in mind that our job comes first because it is our responsibility not some one else's.  We agreed, we promised to do our job, so we should do. If our job gives even a little amount of relief, we should have the courtesy to call the people and wish them. No one is too busy for that.

The answer is 'yes' because our work comes first.  We have to say no to others in a nice way.  We have to say no to ourselves also to get the work done with in time frame to get the intended results.

What we do when we don't feel like doing decides what we are.  In life, we get what we are but not what we wish or cherish for. What we are is the action part and What we want is the planning part.  Planning is not acting. Too much planning is detrimental to action.

Moods swing but the time does not.  We can not wait for the right mood to start working especially when it's our work.  So profound is the time that it neither waits, nor changes for any one or for anything in this universe.

The main problems while studying continuously

The main problems been the first one studying the same material creates boredom the next one is problems with body posture even if we sit in the best posture the straight posture in a chair creates pain or discomfort after sometime say 3 to 4 hours. The problem is the sleepiness or tiredness the get after sometime and at times even after taking food this second problem extremely difficult to control. 

There should be a it is i need to know hindi able to reciprocate again and again and whenever i ask . It is a difficult thing to do though looks very simple. We have to do it again and again. It is boring

Home sick

For the first time in life I am home sick. I just want to go home.

There can be many great ideas, but there can only be one great execution.

Doing things at ease and comfort is a highly over rated delusion.

You are always judged and u do the same all the time.

U are judged and u will always be judged. It is not a bad thing. It is not negative. Even you always judge yourself. you feel elated if you bring the results and get bit disappointed if you fail to bring results. there is nothing like 'partial result'. Either you got the result or not. That's it. If you say, there is a thing like 'partial result', you are just not clear of the results.

You not only judge yourself but you judge others also. it is constant and continuous process. you might not be judging who is the best. you may call it understanding in common sense. you may call it finding whether a physician good or not. you wont go to a physician with  out knowing whether he is good or not. you may choose his service in emergency. in that situations, the only reason being it to be an emergency. u dont have an option.

if you are saying that your friend is a good person, you judged him against its complimentary - 'not being so good'. we, most of the times, do not try to judge a person whether good or bad but whether a person good or not so charmingly good (in other words - average).

In your life, if you want to be 'not a bad person', you will become that. if you want to be a 'not the worst performer', you will become that. Do not misunderstand that you will become good person by wanting to be 'not a bad person' and a good performer by wanting to become 'not a worst performer'. you can become either a good or a best performer only by saying it so.

After all, what you tell yourself is just the first step in becoming what you tell yourself. what you really become depends on what you do (which gets greatly influenced by what you tell yourself). it is the action that decided what you will be. what you are now is a result of what you did so far. if you are a well talking person with low results, that's what you did so far- at least in the last few yrs.

I am my own Nemesis

I have become my own nemesis.
If there is anyone who is pulling me down, it is me. I reject all the people who come to help and have built my defences so  strong that I deny to see the inevitable downfall.

Did I use intellectualization to cover up?

Did I use intellectualization to cover my short coming? My effort to analyze failure - was it a decoy to cover my laziness to work hard? Am I lazy?

What to do now? I dont know.

Am I stretching things too much. Is it the reason why I have failed?  What good will it be even if I pursue? But if I leave, how do I know whether I am leaving out of fear or to TRULY start again?

To be...

To be the most aggressive, but never threatening
To be the most competitive, but never belittling
To be the most focused, but never ignoring

Clouds of Tar

When the dark clouds of tar.. drench me in full
The gloom of present .. engulfs my mind
The light of shine.. wanes into darkness
My soul crumbles, cripples.. making a cruch into fetal position.

Fear is not much frightening
Sorrow drags into the back row
Tumbling and crawling, comes front the spirit
To take an oath to leap forth.

No right, no wrong, the world is full of both
Every cloud has a broad darkness
Cruel, the nature, full of kindness
We bask in both. Day in and day out.

The good of past, a hallucination in current
The memories are a kiss on cheek with a slap on the other
I love both while leaning towards one.

Courage wakes me again, pulling up strength
Darkness still around. Far is the light.
Mind fixed, I take a step in the darkness
Long way my friend, long way ahead.

- O

Project D50 - Derustication

Duty

I am bound by duty. I am relieved by completion of the task. The maximum free time and energy that i can get are only from saving these two by finishing my duty as a human as early as possible. Should i be the youngest in reaching what others take may be more than 20yrs? I think i will be. It seems possible. 

Freedom from reaction

It seems that freedom reaction can only be through action but not by inaction

Most Powerful thing, Most Valuable thing & The only Purpose

The most powerful thing in the world is "word". The most valuable thing in this world is "time". The only purpose of life is "to realize your dream".

Mind & Body - the two assets

The only two assets that I have are my mind and my body. I will protect them and also I will execute them the best.

Questions of interference

There are many doubts, many questions that come to my mind. But I do not try to solve them because they are not related to the action that is my hands currently. So, as I do not answer those questions, they get piled up. Should it be seen as a pile of unanswered questions or as a pile of questions that need not be answered as they can interfere with the main task?

Again, No free lunches

Yes, I observed it again, there are no free lunches. There is always something at stake. Dignity, self respect, confidence or simply just faith or belief in our self.

Willinggness - a character

The level of willingness to withstand the pain, hardship and determination to avoid humiliation decdces the level of outcome of a task. These are a persons character not some traits needed to get hired of finish a task.

Magical executions

There doesn't seem to be magical anything. The one with more hardwork, effort to analyze what he thinks and dreams about and plenty and plenty of continuous perspiration with in the time frame can create something above ordinary which if very high above ordinary will be perceived by ordinary as extraordinary and even to the level of Magical.

This brain is like ...everything.

My brain is like.. everything. At times, it feels like as if it is formless, it can achieve anything. it can think any way that it feels ok to think. At the same time it has a form also. it has some opinions, some thoughts, some ideas, some feelings. If i toy with it's feelings, it bounces back. it makes me believe that it is thinking about what i want it to think but at the same time, once i start to look deeper, i feel like i am being observed regarding what i have asked my mind to do. Man, this stuff has great potential. Should i be afraid of human minds potential or be happy for it having such a potential. But what ever, we do have that potential and it is in my brain.

It is like i always have it but neither i can use instantly nor i can loose it instantly. It has to be trained,molded and guided. 

There are two kinds of two people in the world. One who construct their professional work around their other works and those who construct their other work around their professional work.  The 2nd kind of people are less in number.

Executed task & controlled words

Executed task with the intended results has a strong undeniable power. The power that can thrash any future doubts of incapability and underperformance. A strong skill to finish the tasks coupled with well controlled words can keep one at the top of one's profession.

Love of work vs. Fear of failure - where i stand?

Let my concentration on a work be a concious decision out of love to execute the task than just because the otherwise consequences are dire.

Not yet maddeningly mad

I still do not have the absolute strength to take up a task and get dedicated to it till I say "job executed precisely the way it is planned". Though I am not completely farway, I am sure that i have not yet attained the maddening and stern desire to get lost in the task. A dedication that can create passion and mesmerize me. I am not far away. But the conclusion can be only one of the these: am I or am I not? Period.

Emptyness in me

Yes there is emptyness. I can feel it. It is frustrating. It is so frustrating to know that we are being played (even if by God). It is such a feeling of emptyness that I do not think we can withstand. But the sincere effort we put to make what we believe a reality is so satisfying.

The muses of the day.

Never to get lost in the day to day muses of this world. They are trap. They do not exist. Not even in heaven. Even the God has a system to answer the prayer. Even he has a waitlist.

Is what i talk genuine or just a blabbering?

At times i wonder, do i just talk like this or do i really have some stuff? like am i genuine while i talk. It's been i think 10yrs. from the moment i started to take analyzing, assessing and incorporating what i see in and around me. NO,NO, i am serious. i did it. But i also question myself am i just bluff? But i can feel the answer for this question. Yes, i can feel it. I can stop talking and start listening at any moment. When i said listening, i mean understanding the concept from other person's point of view. The speed with which i can do that is something really interesting for me. I do not say surprising because i do not if speed should be considered at all a parameter.

But you know what!, i am really happy with the way i did it. Life is living, understanding and dying. In Buddha's words.. There is a challenge, there is a response and there is a result, we die. To a great extent we can not eliminate challenge, but we can work to decide what kind of challenges we face. We respond definitely, as not responding also becomes a kind of response and whether we like it or not there is a result. And after some time of this cycle of repetition, we die.

I am sure the next phase of this life will be interesting. I am sure and i can see how it comes.

Rvi

Actions & thoughts on Action

At times, I think how stupid I am. I think about my action when the only thing that can done is act on my action thoughts.

not a good day

Today, is not a good day. I felt rejected. Like a slap on face. like a blow of cold water while in a dark sleep. It is hard. I had to brag. Most of the things that i had to brag were not in my control. That's the worst part. It seems this is how it will be. Let me stand up then 

I understood one thing in this world

We see what we want to see. If we choose to see how different are people, we can see it right from the moment and if we choose to see the similarity between all the people, it too we start to see it right from the moment. So, lets be careful before deciding what we want to see.

The world is a mirror. It reflects you. But what you see depends on what your brain wants to see. If you are a person with 'Body dysmorphic syndrome', how ever beautiful you are, you will see only a distorted figure of your own.

The facts of life-Buddha said

1. we are living
2. we will die.
3. The vegetative state.
4. we do have a goal-buddha
5. Life is goal-bdh
6. awareness - the method for goal-bd
7. not seeking = seeking
8. seeking is not freedom
9. no freedom = no life.
10. There is a challenge. There is a response. There is a result.

The Desire

14. It is the desire that makes a man victim but it is also the desire that makes the man achiever.
15. A desire to seek pleasures and a desire to execute and surpass. Yes they do exist.
16. A desire to be on the top of the world is also like making the defining moment of mankind when looked from the brighter side.

Birth to death: we can only contribute

 some of the desires are so strong, so powerful that the message they leave is 'jaw dropping'. we die one day. we die and we all die.
     we always think of what we want. surprisingly, there is nothing that we take with us. Even the body which has been with us from birth till death can not be taken. It belongs here. It stays here. We always ask and we never think that we can only contribute.

The action was decided long back.

 We have already decided our actions long back we experienced the situations. Just we are not aware of what we have decided. 

spiritual n contributory realizations

. spiritual realization of my being is not sufficient for me. I want to see contributory realization also

The fledgling and the killer

Passion is freedom. When we feel passionate, we commit ourselves to the freedom in outcome. Passion is like being in love.
     It is like you climbled a rock and start ... (i could not find the exact word) at the height of your pitch. passion is always there in our heart. it always sings. so sweet is the song
     so mesmarizing are the lines that we forget our own existence. But most of us somehow train ourselves to not to listen to the silent song that starts immediately we let our hearts to sing. We train ourselves to ignore it. We insult it. We belittle the song of passion of heart. We silently kill it. It is a cold blooded murder and we are the murderers.

the constraints -obvious

while studying_
In MBA, to an extent, i learned how to understand the premise that for every action, there are always constraints with in which we work. This is true for each and every aspect of our life. I learned to identify and accept the constratins how ever minute they are.

The question decides the answer

-if i have to answer a question yes or no, i need to have the data that says yes or no but never ambigious
-what constitutes 'refreshing from work'? at times the refreshing takes very long time right?
-It seems that we take more amount of time to refresh than the amount of time we invest in execution of what we desire.

winning over us

-winning over us, is such a foolish concept. You can not loose to your self! Only thing should happen is to understand your self.

shifting through thoughts

-There is so much of pain while shutting down one chain of thought and moving to the chain of thought that is more productive. It is not just understanding the productivity that make us shift from our decisions. In the weakest of our moments lies the true strength that we possess.

Beyond the differences, there is uniformity

Humanity has no language. We are so stupid, so beastly that we create all the differences by our selves. we idiots, scoundrels, dirty creatures. Have you ever observed a person being rejected by any person of any nationality, race, religion, ethnicity when he tries to keep the water clean, create an ingenious architectural marvel, a machiene that can relieve the physical burden of day to day life. No, no one stops him. He is welcome by all even if one does not know the language or culture of other. Beneath all the differences that we see all the time, there is uniformity. It is "we are all humans". "we are living beings". This is what we have to see. Never the differences.

-At times, i see an extra ordinary person in the world doing marvelous, i mean it, truely marvelous acts that i just feel like bowing infront of in a way to thank him. "Thank you, you are called human".

good vs. good - our daily fight

-a good idea and an unwanted good idea.
-a good idea and non allied good idea
-a good idea and perfect good idea
-a good idea and a good idea of not doing the good idea
-a good idea and a better idea of not doing the good idea
-creativity seeks freedom, execution seeks constraints. In practical world, constraints win but creativity leads the path. stupid to think we should have one. They are apples and organges. can not be compared, can not be chosen from. one starts the action other makes the action a reality. They differ in time.

Religion vs. God

Religion is an Institution and God is Hope. 

Everyone's life is simple and alone

"हर एक का जिंदगी अकेलाही होता है". Everyone's life is simple and alone. Yeah, it is alone. But many people think that they have company. Yeah, they do have company but it is limited. Even the spouse has a limited access what you think compared to what you deal with and how you do things throughout your life. Though He/she is the person who knows better than anyone. But our lives are alone. And for this we should neither feel sorry nor disappointment.

Lets see the same things from a different perspective. Instead of saying "alone" lets use the word "solitary". Solitary has more broader meaning. It is like giving yourself some space and some time to think. You act according to your desires. You will not be lost in the day to day activities. At the same time, you can also track your activities. 

some said, she won't help even though she can

One of my friend said  "she will talk very nice. She has lot of resources. She has acquaintances of influential people. But if you ask for a favor, she will give some reason to avoid. Don't trust her. Stay away" .

I think my friend misinterpreted her. First thing i should ask is why she should help one? Just because she has access to influential resources? No. I do not think that she can keep on pushing her acquaintances for some one else. When i looked at her closely. She is a person of challenges. Her academic record is good. I am sure that she can not manipulate that record continuously. She has the traits that will make any one whether with acquaintances or not will take to the top position in their work. Her concentration is undisturbed. Her schedule is clear. Her determination to maneuver through the day to day task is sure to take her to top the top rung of the ladder. She is damn good at work.

Surprisingly, the acquaintances she got are somethings that have happened by chance. She did not pick any of her associations by choice. They have happened by chance. Her relatives are in good social positions. Her parents are successful and well known doctors. Her family diaspora are in good positions in the world elite centers. None of this she chose. I do not think she ever had a chance to decide in which family to born.

One more thing i am sure of. The world top class institutions do not keep people because they know the people. Such institutions crumble to a heap of ash in no time. The institution will be a failure. When we say world class, it means world class in talent. So, what keeps an institute in the business of talent in top position? Talent alone. Nothing else.

I ask not only my friend but everyone to stop to that we can expect (except in dire circumstances) the people with associations should be helping. If we think "WHO WILL HELP IF NOT THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE ACCESS?", Let me tell my friend "with all the knowledge in the world that we are simply wrong".   

This is what Steve Jobs said : DEATH

Death is the most important tool. It helps to make the big choices in life. All external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. It helps you to remember  that you are going to die and this is the best way to know how to avoid the trap of thinking that you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. 


Even our close relatives don't remember us 6months after we die. We die like many. As shakespears said, the world is a stage and we are just players. It is ok if there are only few players but what if there are 6 billion players. In this context what Steve jobs did to the world becomes significantly important. He did something and it changed the pace of change. 


Now, the question is where do we stand? 

Success & Economy

The success and basic survival of each species, to be more precise, each individual of the species depends of economy. Economy of every action, every reaction. If the species is not economical in its energy, resources, reproduction and reactions, it will be deleted by the process of natural selection. so are we. 

love & living

Love. Love is great. One should have to fall in love to feel it. It is like the feeling that you get when you win something of great importance. Only you can feel it. You can say " I feel great" "I am on cloud 9". But no one else, but you can feel how its like to be on "cloud 9".

Is love sufficient to live together? No, not at all. Love is a great component. It is the mortar. It keeps things together. It gives the smooth finishing. It is the central pillar. But you need bricks. You can not build a house just with mortar. That's not how it works. One should know this. Once you know the truth, you will be less prejudiced. You will be more prepared.

love & like

Believe me when i say that we can like two people equally and may not be able to tell whom we like most but we can never ever love two people. If one says that he / she is in love with two, they just does not know that only one of it is true. 

we can feel what's going to come

We always know. We can feel it. We always know how things end up. In the beginning we have a vague idea. As we go forth, the idea starts to take form and as the final day of execution closes, the vivid nature of outcome can be seen in front of our eyes. SO, WE KNOW HOW IT ENDS. WE CAN FEEL IT. IT IS ALWAYS THERE ALL AROUND US. Most of the times, we are unwilling to acknowledge its presence. It is a sentinel, it is guide. It directs us. Take its help. It is a silent sentinel and a good omen.  

So strong is the wind. It blows hard in my face. I can feel the gritty nature of the wind. The swirls of wind come in gusts. I hold my ground. No hesitation. I see my target clearly. It is neither close nor far. I take my bow and arrow. The first one hits the bulls eye. The second too. The third also made its way. The wind changed its direction. Now it flows from right to left diagonally. THERE IS STILL DUST IN THE WIND. i MOVE AND CHANGE MY PLACE. Now i move to my right, use the speed and the direction of wind to shoot the target again and again. It is a game that never ends. It is a game of success. one should learn how to take pleasure in playing. Play is hard. never assume it to be easy. It is hard. Play the hard part with pleasure. Learn it. Learn to win. Win becomes you

struggle to survive: It is pity

I watch people everyday. Almost everyday. They struggle to survive. They do not struggle less than those who struggle to excel. It is pity. If we just think of surviving, we will always be at the mercy of someone else. It is pathetic. The grace and joy of freedom does not lie with subordination. Especially, the subordination to survive. WE ARE BORN TO EXCEL.  The day to day language used by the people who just want to survive is the problem. It is this language that acts like a constant demoralizing autohypnotic drug that gradually degrades the spirit to excel.

Known answer & the question that is no more of interest

Does it matter? Does it matter even though we have the answer.  Does it matter when we know the answer and the question itself is no more a question of interest? 

who tells it is pain?

Let's not go after things just because they are more tough to pursue or just because there is more pain in it and because more people won't pursue that path. Lets pursue a goal because we can have the pleasure of travelling and because that is what we constitute.

By the way, who tells what is 'pain'? How in the world one can define what is pain? Is it the difficulty that is called pain or is it the temporary feeling of high level of discomfort that makes us call it 'pain'. who tells what level of discomfort is the minimum to call it pain?

Md. Ali, the boxer whom the world remembers never seemed to call receiving a punch in face 'painful'. Lance Armstrong never seemed to call riding his bike is painful enough to stop pursuing the goal even in the times of gloomy and bleak future. 

Technically speaking, the 'Pain' has two components. The 'physical' and the 'emotional'. Most of the times, almost all of the times, for a common man, it is the emotional part that strikes first. The blow is severe enough for most of the people to loose interest in pursuing the 'physical' part.

The physical part will obviously difficult. Lets not confuse 'difficulty' with 'impossibility' here. The level of uncertainty will be always there with any unaccomplished physical work. The uncertainty has to be converted into certainty. This requires the desire to succeed (a desire 'not to fail' is not sufficient), guided work and time.

Never to forget that pain is temporary and pleasure that comes from pursuing a tough task is long lasting.

The mean job

Never to do a mean job. It is disrespecting yourself. When you can not respect yourself and when you cannot respect your values, then how in the world another person can do that for you?

The work has to be intellectual. Let's take pride in intellectual work. At the same time, one should not get confused 'mean work' for 'physical work'. They are different completely.

The pursuit

It is foolish if any one thinks it is good to think just to survive. We are born to excel. The suffering and unfair treatment we get in our attempt for being ordinary and our attempt to survive is much worse.

True win= {[(a)(main goal)]-[(b)(finances)]-[(c)(time)]} / 3

The win formula, as i believe, should not rest solely on finishing job. From my business school experience, i can say that the 'win' should be seen from the perspective of at least 3 parameters. The goal, The Time, and the Finance. Out of these three, 'time' is the non-renewable resource. Let's not forget this.

The 'win' depends at least on these 3 parameters. The weightage of each parameter changes with the project. The weightage of 'Time' and 'Finance' should be least for any project. Least, not in relative terms. Not relative to the other parameters. But in their own terms.

                       TRUE WIN = { [(a) (main goal)] - [(b) (finances)] - [(c) (time)] } / 3


a,b & c are the weightage that one gives these parameters. They change as per the project. 


We must understand that 100% is almost impossible. What we should always try is to reach as close possible as to 100%. 

Once a project is over, one should treat himself for pursuing the goal. Furthermore, b'fore one starts any project, it is always good to analyse oneself using SWOT (Strengths, Weakness, Opportunities and Threats) analysis to understand the depth, risks, threats of the project and limitations of oneself.

I have my goals pretty clear

I have my goals pretty clear. As clear as crystal water. very clear and rigorously checked out. I have my principle goal. Then followed by two supporting and self satisfying goals. They are continuous. They define me. I am very clear about defending them. I know how to defend them. The giant lighthouse has to be built strong. The light that comes out of it should be sharp and unquestionable. The journey will be perilous but that is where the most joy lies. The day to day pain of ordinary life is miserable. Let us take the pride in having pain that comes from pursuing tough and ambitious goals.

when you get up in the morning, the whole world looks different. In a way, you seem to be far ahead of many.

It touches the skies and it's shadow tall and strong all over.

rules & confirmity

when the rules are rewritten, there is no conformity of success.

please feel tired so that you can feel energetic again

In a way religion is slavery !???

In a way, religion is slavery. People think that god gives them hope. But in fact, it is he same person who assures himself of hope. He believes that he will be listened, he will be taken care of. Once a person gives his worrying concerns to someone to bother about, he becomes free. He is fresh again and fresh to think about the problem whole again. Once the problem is something that of not urgent, he will be assured.

The atheists also get the same comfort if someone else, if not god, can take care of their problems.

the two new sites

http://the99percent.com/

http://www.psychologytoday.com/

A different team India to rid what ails the country - The Times of India

A different team India to rid what ails the country

Sanjay Sharma, TNN, Feb 23, 2011, 04.24am IST

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Tags:Indian Foreign Service|Cyberspace

CHANDIGARH: A campaign that was born in cyberspace from London to free India of its ills, is exploring possibilities of taking roots in northwest India comprising Punjab, Haryana, Himachal, Chandigarh and Jammu and Kashmir.

The brain behind the campaign, one of the most popular on the net, Shantanu Bhagwat, who quit his lucrative job of an Indian Foreign Service (IFS) officer, to plunge into politics, on Monday met a group of youngsters from the region here. He was accompanied by a former nuclear scientist Dr Akalpita Paranjape and a software technologist Dipinder Sekhon.

Around 150 such leaders have come together to form a Freedom Team of India (FTI) to act as a "forum for policy, strategy and leadership development to promote the freedoms of the great peoples of India."

Dr Paranjape who retired from Bhabha Atomic Research Centre and Bhagwat said the grouping hopes to offer its leadership to India along with the world's best policies to improve governance in India.

It is driven by a citizen leadership concept where there is no leader but a collection of bright people who shape policies and prepare citizenry. Adharshila, one of the activities, is focused on preparing citizenship. Adharshila is being designed and may be launched in a few months.

Bhagwat said, the forum's mission is, "An India where everyone is guaranteed equal opportunities and equal dignity and has freedom to pursue his or her own happiness under an accountable and participative government." He added, "We favour a change in the body of systems to bring about this situation."

Though during the interaction, they did not offer any specific policy framework, yet they indicated why there should be an electronic accounting system in which each deal is tracked and why tax collection and distribution is left to the lowest bodies of governance. Socialistic policies, according to them, have lost their relevance and a true capitalistic system, unlike the crony one India has, appears to be their guiding philosophy.

The concept of FTI was proposed in mid-2006 on the internet in the manuscript of a 2008 book, "Breaking Free from Nehru". Bhagwat spends a fortnight in London and India each to run the campaign.

In an open letter released to citizenship, the team has made it clear that it is a formation away from socialistic framework and wedded to liaises faire to unleash opportunities and freedoms for individuals to grow and the nation to benefit from their growth.

Read more: A different team India to rid what ails the country - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/A-different-team-India-to-rid-what-ails-the-country/articleshow/7552675.cms#ixzz1EpJnfhAx

The people of poverty

It seems it is the poverty not the abundance that breeds greed. Where there is poverty, there is law breaking. When there is no hope to deal an issue with dialogue, comes the need to answer a call with brute physical force. The deep seated animal instinct of human comes out. It crashes out on others till it gets satisfied.

The rage and rationality are two different things. The out come depends on which takes the upper hand. The battle ground is human. Even if one of these is two is in command, the other tries to comes out at times and cause unrest. When the rage is all over and the sheer power is showing it's presence all over, the rationality comes to conscience in the form of a child's face, a helpless lady's pleadings, in a powerless man's situation. When the rationality is in command, the rage brings an unrest when some people try to take advantage of our rationality. When our humbleness is taken for granted, when our kindness is misinterpreted and we are called traitors.

This is the moment that needs your highest 'super ego' to start working. THE MORAL VALUES SHOULD BE HELD HIGH NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. If you fail, the people who believed in you also fail. IF YOU FAIL, WITH YOU TEN PEOPLE FAIL.

Being taken for granted

తీసి పడెయ్యడం నేను ఒప్పుకోలేను. I do not accept taken for granted. I do not like being put aside. I do not like to be out side lime light. I do not accept people talking about me in a careless manner. I want to be talked about my accomplishments. I will make every one know. I will be acknowledged. I will not 'one among many'. I am 'The one'. I am a person of accomplishment. I do not like being treated unwanted. Never Never Never. My work, the world needs. My thought, the world needs. My life, the world talks. I am the person. I am the lime light. I am the creator. I am not the god. I am not a power. I am the module. I am the continuum. I am the process. I am not god. I am the man of will. I will cry if i fail. I will suffer if i fail. I will not accept if i fail. I never compete with people. I never compete with people. I will compete with concept. I bring new ideas. I bring more understanding. I will help people see their destiny. I will give my knowledge to the next generation. I want my fellow people to have my knowledge. I spent vast amount of energy to get and understand what i understood. I will give this to you. You do not go all the way i have gone. Finish it fast and go beyond where i have gone. I am one among those few who carry the baton. I love you. I do not like to be taken for granted. If i am forever, you will take me for granted. I am not forever. I will leave, once my part is over.

In this govt school, people make things happen - The Times of India

In this govt school, people make things happen

TNN, Feb 17, 2011, 11.13pm IST

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Tags:Government Schools|Amenities

HASSAN: Most people have a perception that government schools lack amenities, but in Mallapanahalli, Holenarsipur taluk, the villagers join hands with students and teachers of the government higher primary school every year during the harvest season in the month of January and February and donate paddy to help them buy the necessary equipments for the school and to organize union day (school day).

Speaking to TOI, K S Srinivas, a teacher with Mallapanahalli government higher primary school said, "Since the year 2002, the school has been organizing a unique programme every year where students and teachers go from house to house to collect paddy from the villagers. Later, we sell the donated paddy and generate around Rs 12,000 to 15,000 which also includes the money donated by the villagers for developmental works of the school."

He says though the school was started in 1970, the school authorities never organised a union day due to the absence of a stage. But the contribution of paddy and money has helped school authorities construct a stage and the money has also been utilised for the past eight years to organize union day in a grand manner.

The paddy donating system of the villagers has helped the school authorities immensely -- today, the school has a drum set, 200 steel plates, mikes, speakers, computer tables, three cupboards and a DVD player to televise documentary movies, says Manjunath, a villager. "We should not depend on the government for everything. Every government school should organize these kinds of unique programmes for the development of the school," he added.

"We are proud to say that after seeing our development, 10 students who were with private schools in Holenarsipura have joined our school in 2010-2011. Now the school has a strength of 182 students. This year, so far, after selling the donated paddy, we have earned Rs 13,800 and with the help of the gram panchayat we have started constructing a compound around the school," said teacher K S Srinivas.

Read more: In this govt school, people make things happen - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mysore/In-this-govt-school-people-make-things-happen/articleshow/7511135.cms#ixzz1Ed7U1Nco

Character of the week: Petrus « Paulo Coelho's Blog

Character of the week: Petrus

The first symptom of the process of our killing our dreams is the lack of time. The busiest people I have known in my life always have time enough to do everything. Those who do nothing are always tired and pay no attention to the little amount of work they are required to do. They complain constantly that the day is too short. The truth is, they are afraid to fight the Good Fight.

The second symptom of the death of our dreams lies in our certainties. Because we don’t want to see life as a grand adventure, we begin to think of ourselves as wise and fair and correct in asking so little of life. We look beyond the walls of our day-to-day existence, and we hear the sound of lances breaking, we smell the dust and the sweat, and we see the great defeats and the fire in the eyes of the warriors. But we never see the delight, the immense delight in the hearts of those who are engaged in the battle. For them, neither victory nor defeat is important; what’s important is only that they are fighting the Good Fight.

And, finally, the third symptom of the passing of our dreams is peace. Life becomes a Sunday afternoon; we ask for nothing grand, and we cease to demand anything more than we are willing to give. In that state, we think of ourselves as being mature; we put aside the fantasies of our youth, and we seek personal and professional achievement. We are surprised when people our age say that they still want this or that out of life. But really, deep in our hearts, we know that what has happened is that we have renounced the battle for our dreams – we have refused to fight the Good Fight.

When we renounce our dreams and find peace, we go through a short period of tranquility. But the dead dreams begin to rot within us and to infect our entire being.
We become cruel to those around us, and then we begin to direct this cruelty against ourselves. That’s when illnesses and psychoses arise. What we sought to avoid in combat – disappointment and defeat – come upon us because of our cowardice.

And one day, the dead, spoiled dreams make it difficult to breathe, and we actually seek death. It’s death that frees us from our certainties, from our work, and from that terrible peace of our Sunday afternoons

words of Petrus, my guide during The pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela

When i feel that intensity..........

At times, the feeling comes so strong. I can not see anything else. Al l of a sudden, i see myself hitting the bull's eye. The bow in my hands is light in weight. the arrows on the ground. The ground is bit rough and less of grass. The target is clear and at a distance not far. The action is so perfect. Even before releasing the arrow, i fee like i know where it is going to hit. The bull's eye. Exactly in the middle of bull's eye. I take another arrow and can shoot exactly at the same place again and again. I do not feel like going to the target to pull out the arrows to shoot again. Instead, somehow i always have few more arrows still to shoot. I do not know how long i have this feeling. But once i am done with the feeling, i get great satisfaction of doing a thing exactly the way it has to be done. It gives me immense feeling. It feels like "yes, i lived".