Targets while studying

We must never set a target like "I will finish 160 question today" it is a wrong target.  Rather the target should be something like " I should be able to recollect what I am studying today and in the process I should not be lax most of the times and there should not be any passive reading".

Shifting the target for better results

Rather than giving my self a target of finishing the chapter or a concept in particular time with particular result, it seems the more productive would be give my self a target of being able to focus continuously in a relaxed manner. The target is to be able to read and understand the next paragraph, the next page and the next concept. It should include no wasting of time but also no wandering of thoughts. The total time to finish the chapter is flexible, the pace could also be flexible but the approach of doing things smoothly one after the other with no wandering of thought is not flexible. I should be able to understand the concept and reciprocate what I am studying even though I am not able to recollect each and every line precisely. I should be able to continue the momentum with genuine effort. 

Late night sleeps

If I sleep late in the night, I am not able to do things actively the whole next day. This happens even if I finish a 6-8hrs of continuous sleep almost till the afternoon. I feel drowsy.

I can not follow a target

It seems I can not fix myself to a target. Whatever the target I chose to accomplish I leave it in the middle or I become slow and miss the target. Either I am wrong in understanding the practicality of achieving the target or I am just not capable of sticking to the schedule when it becomes too hectic. Missing the targets happening again and again. So, it seems that I will miss my goal also. Missing the goal is certainly going to devastating. It could not be redone as the time would also be over. This is a serious threat to my mission.

Presumedly well studied concepts and the non revision.

The concept that I have read well makes me to be less enthusiastic to revise that subject. This lessened enthusiasm is going to be there for a long time. I read ENT well. But I did not revise it in the last 6 months. When I said read well, I did neither study the topic related to CSOM nor did the question bank. It's like half of the total prep related to ENT is not done at least once.

The adrenaline mood

Mood is not something that seems to be something that i can control (at least now). Because there are times where I can study very effectively. The pages just flow. It's like hurricane. I can understand everything and feel like i can recollect easily everything. It just happens. It happens at times. I can not choose for it to happen but I have observed that it happens more frequently before exams and some absolute deadlines. When it happens, all the other works step back including the long due sleep. The adrenaline rushes. While it's happening, most of the times, I don't turn the pages back to recollect and revise but I just follow it because it just flows.

Also, the fast paced reading happens successfully might be because the objective is short term memory.

After 3-4hrs of this rapid pace reading, everything becomes so tiresome. 

But the topics learned from adrenaline mood are difficult to recollect unless they are already read.

Failure and my big role in it

My failure , it seems,  at most of the times is not directly because of negligence or incapability but because of my own action of under performance resulting in gross dissatisfaction and subsequent anger and hurt that I create against myself.

After sometime, to avoid the un joyful feeling of not being able to reach my target and finish the task, I indulge in activities like watching movies continuously or have a party or watch YouTube for long hours.  So that I can forget the task it self and tell myself that it could not been achieved anyways. Not I reassign my self a new task and do the same. It has become more like a habit.

The latest hrs are more productive

The last hrs of my study schedule are more productive than the initial hours. May be it is because I know in the beginning that I have lot of time.

The root of understanding all concept

There will be this one basic question that's not clearly answered or not clearly given on which you want to memorize or understand the whole concept. You research and able to concretely understand all the other information related to the concept except that one.  Ex. PCI in STEMI has to be done in a PCI available hospital (if the patient was brought there directly) with in 90 min. But it is no where explained neither by the professor nor by the AHA what to do incase we administer thrombolytics with in 30 min. Should we go with PCI later?

Lot of energy and time consuming yet yielding

Some concepts are so confusing though they are just half page like STEMI and NSTEMI Rx. coupled with the thrombolytics, fibrinolytics and anti coagulant treatment options. Also, the protocol of Rx changes every year. We don't know whether the lecturer has updated.  In these cases, the study takes long time and must by remembered all together at once or else everything goes back to the beginning. 

But maintaining to continue to study gradually & slowly over 4 hrs, the tough subject yielded (not completely). But It has to be recollectd again and again to get the concept consolidated. 

Results should be experienced

The memorizing and reciprocation and re revision must be experienced and be redone one after the other.

The disinterest is overcome (and could be done again and again)

In spite, I continued to study. I was reading the chapter one after other. I had no interest in the chapter even though I wanted to learn, there was some kind of half hearted effort. So, I continued to study, after one hr or so I somehow asked my self "what chapter I am reading? "I could not answer my self. That's the beginning of waning disinterest in the topic. After few seconds say, 5 or 10, I was able to tell the name. Then slowly came the main headings in that topic. Then the subheading after turning few of the pages. Then I was actively asking my self how one concept is similar and different from the other. I tried to analyze and overtime, have put the effort to memorize. So, in one sentence "the dis interest could be overcome"

It isn't a sufficiently strong purpose to make you form the habit of doing the things you don't like to do for the very simple reasons that it is easier to adjust ourselves to the hardships of a poor living than it is to adjust ourselves to the hardships of making a better one. If you doubt me, just think of all the things you are willing to go without in order to avoid doing the things you don't like to do.

He insulted me.

He insulted me. Yes. I am not mistaken. He did insult me. He did it. He said " your choices are wrong". He said it around 3-4 times at different times. I remember. He said "3-4 books chadivi book raseddamanukunte aipodu. Anta dammunte choopinchu" "prativokkadu topu ani anukuntadu" " neelo kooda facebook zuckenberg and Microsoft billgates anta skill unte choopinchu" neeku anta vundi anukuntunnava? Anta ledu.. vunte ikkade choopinchu. Cheta kake vellipotunnav kada.

Hard work is unavoidable both for manual labour and thoughtful research but only the above parallel work is awarded. 

Both less skilled and supra par works are hard works. Both only the later gets praise, award and reward.

If we have the conviction that we can relax, we will convince ourselves to relax more than required. The brain plays the trick. It's similar to the concept of 'threshold of pain' which is always subjective, which can constantly be improved and which most of the times, if left unchecked, gives sub-par results in long run.

Should we ignore everyone?

In our pursuit, should we ignore everyone? Should we denounce everyone? The answer is both 'yes' and 'no'. It depends on both the time and the need of the hour.

It is 'no' for most of the times. However a 'no' does not mean that we have to be with all the people for a long durations of time (the option 'all the time' is not even considered). We just have to be there only til the time needed. Nothing more nothing less.  But we should keep in mind that our job comes first because it is our responsibility not some one else's.  We agreed, we promised to do our job, so we should do. If our job gives even a little amount of relief, we should have the courtesy to call the people and wish them. No one is too busy for that.

The answer is 'yes' because our work comes first.  We have to say no to others in a nice way.  We have to say no to ourselves also to get the work done with in time frame to get the intended results.

What we do when we don't feel like doing decides what we are.  In life, we get what we are but not what we wish or cherish for. What we are is the action part and What we want is the planning part.  Planning is not acting. Too much planning is detrimental to action.

Moods swing but the time does not.  We can not wait for the right mood to start working especially when it's our work.  So profound is the time that it neither waits, nor changes for any one or for anything in this universe.

The main problems while studying continuously

The main problems been the first one studying the same material creates boredom the next one is problems with body posture even if we sit in the best posture the straight posture in a chair creates pain or discomfort after sometime say 3 to 4 hours. The problem is the sleepiness or tiredness the get after sometime and at times even after taking food this second problem extremely difficult to control. 

There should be a it is i need to know hindi able to reciprocate again and again and whenever i ask . It is a difficult thing to do though looks very simple. We have to do it again and again. It is boring

Home sick

For the first time in life I am home sick. I just want to go home.